Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Jonathan, currently pursuing a degree in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services). I previously graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a Diploma in Electrical Engineering with Eco-Design. My hobbies are traveling, watching movies. I also love to try out new things and looking at the world from a different perspective.
During my polytechnic days, I initially had my mind set on entering the power industry specializing in renewable power. During that time there was always a heavy emphasis on the Singapore Government huge investment on renewable energy. However, I changed my mind after learning how similar the building industry was to the power industry. This fascinates me and sparked my interest in the building industry. I believed that you cannot spell success without the right attitude and interest, which led me to took SIE(BS) course in SIT.
Language is never my forte, I never had problems communicating with people but I am flawed in writing grammatically and never fail to present without stumbling when facing a crowd. Additionally, whenever I had many ideas, I hesitate to present my ideas as I find them not good enough. this result to me keeping my own ideas most of the time.
For strength, I am good at spotting other people mistakes. Probably a habit from all the years learning maths and previously having a part-time logistic job. I am also open-minded, I get along well with most people I work with while also respecting their opinions.
Through this module, I plan to improve my English language and how to convey myself properly in writing and to express myself professionally in the business world. Looking forward to your next lesson.
Best regards,
Jonathan
Hi Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteI believe that rehearsal before presentation will make you more confident and also less likelihood to stumble when you are presenting. Normally people tend to stumble is when the environment is too tense or lack of preparation. Perhaps before presentation to the crowd, you can lighten up everyone mood by saying a joke or two?
Cheers!
Sam
Dear Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sharing in this descriptive reflection. The post is informative while also being generally clear and concise. I enjoyed learning about your professional interest and the connection with your studies.
You also open up honestly about your weaknesses in English. But take heart: That's exactly what this module is all about, addressing your concerns and weaknesses.
We can do that in terms of language right from the start. Here are some problem areas for you to consider:
1. sentence structure
-- I also love to try out new things and looking at the world from a different perspective. >>> (lack of parallel structure)
-- Language is never my forte, I never had problems... >>> (run on sentence)
-- Probably a habit from all the years learning maths and previously having a part-time logistic job. >>> (sentence fragment/conversational, not writing)
-- I am also open-minded, I get along well with most people I work with while also respecting their opinions. >>> (run on sentence)
-- Looking forward to your next lesson. >>> (fragment)
Please review https://www.lib.uoguelph.ca/get-assistance/writing/grammar-style/improving-your-sentence-structure
2. verb use
-- Additionally, whenever I had many ideas, I hesitate to present my ideas as I find them not good enough. >>> (verb tense inconsistency)
-- this result to me keeping my own ideas most of the time. >>> ?
3. widespread overuse of capital letters
I look forward to working with you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your introduction and I find that we have a same weakness in our language and during presentation to a large crowd, as we lacked confidence. But I believed we will be able to work on it!
Your content and organisation are fine, however, sentence structure can be improved.
For example, "Language is never my forte, I never had problems communicating with people but I am flawed in writing grammatically and never fail to present without stumbling when facing a crowd." can be change into "Language is never my forte, I had problems with writing grammatically and never fail to present without stumbling when facing a crowd, even though I never had problems with communicating with people."
I suggest also to read through your letter after you done writing it to make sure it sounds okay. For example, "this result to me keeping my own ideas most of the time." can be change into "This has caused me to keep my ideas to myself most of the time."
Look forward to interact with you more.